Believe in yourself, even if others don't.


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Liar
by 8mm

im a liar
its my secret no one knows
im a liar
yeah, i know it doesnt show

no. i dont miss you anymore
no, i dont think of you
its such a game to seem adored
no, i dont love you anymore

im a liar
yeah, ive given up my wings
im a liar
they were only wax and string

no, i dont miss you anymore
no, i dont think of you
its such a game to seem adored
no, i dont love you anymore

I thought I've tried my best to make the situation better.

Now i feel like running away.



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Bitter Song by Butterfly Boucher

All I need is a bitter song
To make me better
Much better
All I need to write is a bitter song
To make me better
Much better

It found me to hold me
But I don't like it at all
Won't feed it,
Won't grow it
It's folded in my stomach;
It's not fair,
I found love;
It made me say that.
Get back,
You'll never see daylight;
If I'm not strong it just might.

All I need is a bitter song
To make me better
Much better
All I need to write is a bitter song
To make me better
I feel better
I feel better

Unfortunately, yesterday I went to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with my fellow peeps, Seige and Vonne at TM. I could no longer stand the boredom and decided on this particular movie having run out of options.

And I was tempted to sleep twice during the movie!

• As soon as I was seated where trailers of other movies were shown.
• For the first hour of the movie.

Haha. I guess I was exhausted not getting enough ample sleep lately. The eyebags are just getting worse!

Overall the movie was Ok. Besides the boring and predictable plotline, the graphics were a pleasure to the eyes. And I simply love Michelangelo!

Sa-sar! (haha. Von and Seige!)

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There's freaking alot of things that I want to buy. No wait, it's a need to buy. I will get it in no matter of time when I have enough to purchase it.

And at the same time, I want to help. If only.....

Both leg hurts. The mind wasn't stable. All because I had to work 10 hours straight without getting any break hours. Damn alot of customers. Plus brats. Plus Bitches.

I am always subjected to this kind of treatment.

Got home from an event at Dbl O around 1am. I should be sleeping now lah but I'm busy uploading pictures from just now.

Played pool with Ehpiz after such a long time. And I had a game with a much older man who commented that I did not have much confidence in me when playing. Its ok because its kind of true anyway. haha.

So now I guess Im not the only one thats holding back alot of things deep inside. It feels so much better after you let it out.

....................................................................................

I could say that it came as a bit of a false hope. Its ok.

" If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it."

It did help me alot as I feel more at ease. Not like what I've been to lately.

Temperamental.

I hope that this faith will eventually last.

Yesterday, went jogging with Faridah. My new jogging companion! Then I had Bboy session with my Guru, Aphiz. Haha.

Bboy in the House.

No lah. Im just trying out new things. My left leg was injured but that was kind of expected.

If only i could help.

Memories.

I know that whatever Im doing at sly is not the right thing to do.

But I can't help it.

Forgiven

Couldn’t save you from the start
Love you so it hurts my soul
Can you forgive me for trying again
Your silence makes me hold my breath
Time has passed you by

Oh, for so long I’ve tried to shield you from the world
Oh, you couldn’t face the freedom on your own
Here I am left in silence

You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that’s done’s forgiven
You’ll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that’s done’s forgiven

I watched the clouds drifting away
Still the sun can’t warm my face
I know it was destined to go wrong
You were looking for the great escape
To chase your demons away

Oh, for so long I’ve tried to shield you from the world
Oh, you couldn’t face the freedom on your own
And here I am left in silence

You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that’s done’s forgiven
You’ll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that’s done’s forgiven

I’ve been so lost since you’ve gone
Why not me before you?
Why did fate deceive me?
Everything turned out so wrong
Why did you leave me in silence?

You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that’s done’s forgiven
You’ll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that’s done’s forgiven



I'm not being emo again. Its just a song. By the way, Congrats once again to Vonne.

Fighting the inner demons have never been an easy task.

Everything seems to turn out wrong. Family problems which never have an ending to it. Personal matters which i totally suck at. The mind just want to explode.

Its not as easy as it seems. Pretence can do wonders.

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I want to wish Happy Birthdays to:

Muhammad Hisam Bin Sugimin


Siti Raudah Bte _________ (i dunno arh)


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just some pictures.









nites.

I'll take it as a challenge.

The only way to avoid any distractions is to get myself busy. Like I've said, I'm now pretty much busy with dance. Ive neglected my school work a tiny bit though. Not really that intrested to crack my brains out since its the holidays. But soon I''ll get my ass back on school work. I hope.

I now can barely find the time to work. Damn it lah.

"Reality hurts and it sucks."

Damn fcuking true.

The whole body is fcuking aching.

Im down with a serious fcuking flu. Thanks NJ.

And Im tired.

There's so much things to be done now.

Got back my results. A little bit of improvement from the previous semester. I hit that point again! Yeah. But it doesn't mean Im happy with the grades I get.

Stupid OTCM.

I want to earn money fast.

Life's been pretty busy having to juggle a lot of things at the moment.

Work. School. Dance.

I hope to be able to pull through.

I refrained myself from *ehem* which is quite an achievement. No more.

Maybe i guess.

The phone gone crazy. I can't use the sms function. The MP3 gone insane. I can't upload songs.

Fcuk to this to happen at this period of time. Fcuk.

Is it going to be worth it?

Its a Saturday and i can't even have a good 8 hours sleep. Constant nagging from the mother as well as other distractions. I will be working later at night.

There will be no resting time for me. Another week of hectic schedule.

Is it worth the passion?

Im updating this blog on a regular basis. So much free time, huh, Firr?

Somehow, I'm a little dissapointed in myself. For some reason.

Why cant we enjoy the pleasure of happiness?

Could not sleep well last night. I don't really want to be stressed about these things. But it's just that it's will be forever etched in my memory.

I'm getting tired over anything. Easily getting moody and cranky nowadays.

"He finds life to be a challenge and is so often exhausted by his own thoughts and emotions that he fails to cope in an efficient manner."

I couldn't believe it. But I should be happy for you.

I could barely open my eyes in the morning as i slept late last night. I had to literally force myself to school for the SIP shit. Groups were assigned specific projects and will take about 16 weeks to complete. Well my group was given a project done way back about 2 years by the seniors and we were the fortunate last group to actually have to complete the whole project.

Well done, Firr.

How the hell am i going to stay put in a disclosed room starring at the computer for 9 whole straight hours !?! Well Seige actually do have a logical explanation as to why those lecturers in this specific course are bespectacled.

Whatever.

Just came back from Bah-galow. Had to leave around 2pm just now to head my way to work. And today I was cranky like hell. Sorry lah, probably due to the lack of rest. There wasn't much patience in me unlike the normal days.

Tomorrow is back to school and i have to report by 9am. What the fcuk.

And biggest thank-you to Yuz for taking the time to listen to me (well actually you forced me). Now you know my condition. Thanks lah bitch. It will not and never will turn into FF. haha.

Putting too much hope and sometimes following your instincts may not always give you the results that you want. Because it just hit on me. I was wrong.

Slogan Generator

Came upon this website that generates slogan when you enter something particular like your name or whatsoever.

Mine was : The Firdaus That Likes To Say Yes.

abit true, leh.

Today is Friday, so im basically left with only 3 days which is equivalent to 2 days. Ok. 1 Day. haha. Everybody is eyeing on the Supp paper. C'mon. Be and stay positive. Sure can pass one!

Party now and worry about studying only when u finally get the results, lah!

I hope i pass all my papers and don't have to start digging up on books yet again to study for Supp paper. Pray hard.

Whatever.

I guess i was being over-sensitive. My instincts were wrong this time.

This bitch of mine is crazy.